I am not a numbers person.” “I’m bad in public.” “I’m not a team leader.” I’ll probably botch it, but it’s a fantastic concept.” I’ve never run. Risk-taking doesn’t work for me.”
Perhaps a friend or coworker told you. You may have thought or uttered it. Fears or worldviews impact our behavior and interpretations. These restrictive ideas might hinder our efforts and relationships.
They start young but solidify with time. You self-restrict. As to why? What makes a brave child become someone who avoids challenges and learning chances, doubts themselves, and fears failure? Anyone can adopt limiting ideas from childhood to young adulthood and beyond. Discover how to overcome your self-limiting thoughts.
Recognizing Limiting Beliefs
I am undeserving.
“I am not worthy or deserving of love, happiness, money, respect, attention, a good life, peace, freedom, a promotion, having a fulfilling career, friends, health, a caring spouse, etc.”
This limiting thinking suggests you don’t deserve nice things in life. Do you expect kindness when you think you don’t deserve it? No. That’s because you doubt you can. When you doubt your worth, your reality reflects it. You must believe you deserve what you seek. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t worthy of pleasure, happiness, love, freedom, health, and plenty.
I’m unimportant or worthless.
According to this limiting belief, I am not exceptional, significant, or valuable; no one wants to hear what I have to say; no one loves me; people will reject me; he or she is better than me; people will make fun of me; and I have nothing to offer.
Because no one views things like you, you are valuable no matter what you do or say. Because it is unique, your expertise, knowledge, manner of speaking, life experiences, and worldview are valuable. People may learn a lot from your truth.
I’m inadequate
This limiting mindset is: I am not clever enough, capable enough, powerful enough, young enough, handsome enough, affluent enough, creative enough, confident enough, or any other adjective.
This idea limits us since we never feel good enough and can never forgive ourselves for our faults. We then continually strive to be flawless and beat ourselves up when we fall short. This vicious loop lowers our self-esteem and makes us feel weak and sad.
I required permission from others before…
This thinking says, “I need people’s approval before I make this big life change, take this job, pursue this dream, and make this move. I won’t do something until people believe it’s alright. I want love and acceptance, not disappointment or criticism, for this decision. I want others’ approval before making decisions.
Sound familiar? If it makes sense, replace “people” with “society” or “the world.”.
You cannot wait for others to agree with your emotions. You can’t expect the world to make you happy about your goals. You can’t let the world change your plans to avoid confrontation or be loved. It is not the world’s role to adore you or tell you what to do. That’s your job. The world, society, and others will never agree with you, so act now!
I’m not like that.
This idea that you are stuck and cannot change is a big constraint. They say, “I can’t because I’m not like that; this is my nature; I’ve never been like that; I’ve never been good at that; this is my personality…”I’m too bashful, elderly, ignorant, and lazy.” I’m private, a procrastinator, don’t like change, only do this, etc.
This perspective limits you by labeling you, boxing you in, keeping you comfortable and secure, and giving you an excuse to avoid change, moving out of your comfort zone, challenging yourself, and trying new things, which inhibits your growth and potential.
How can we overcome these limiting thoughts that govern our lives?
Our subconscious beliefs shape how we interact with the environment, yet most of us are unaware of their influence. This is especially risky with limiting beliefs.
Fortunately, humans can unlearn everything they learn. Reversing limiting beliefs is possible. How we think, believe, and act can be changed. We can retrain, recondition, and rewire ourselves to think and act more like ourselves.
Steps to take!
- Accept that these limiting thoughts are ingrained in your brain from birth. Due to your longtime association with these notions, they seem genuine and correct, yet they are not who you are and they are not the truth. Not your beliefs. You’ve been conditioned to believe them.
- Awareness is the second stage in dissolving these beliefs. Being aware of what, when, and how. When do your limiting beliefs appear, and how do they affect your decisions and feelings? Start noticing the tale that keeps coming up in different scenarios. What thoughts do you have when you’re about to do something scary or uncomfortable, when you get in trouble or make a mistake, when you argue with someone, when you start a new adventure, when you’re mocked or criticized, or when you’re stressed? Keep a journal to record these thoughts.
- Reconditioning your ideas and beliefs is the final stage. It’s transforming your mental story from self-doubt to self-acceptance. Start by telling the world you’re worthy, significant, good enough, and competent. If you don’t feel it, stating it won’t work. You must experience it inwardly. How?
Recondition yourself to feel deserving by using these tips
- Changing your mentality requires intentional choices. You must create it. Unless you stay proactive, pay attention to your thoughts, and self-reflect, your previous conditionings will return.
- Reach your truth. This may be done through prayer, meditation, self-reflection, nature, doing activities you enjoy, being among inspiring people, and reading literature that touches you.
- Self-respect means not allowing others to abuse you, removing yourself from small-minded individuals, and sticking up for yourself when things go wrong.
- Change your self-description and goals. Think about how you talk about yourself, your abilities, and life. Change your negative, critical, judgmental, and discouraging words and tone to kind, loving, and encouraging ones, and give yourself more credit!
- Get going! Show yourself your strength, bravery, and ability by pushing yourself. Do something you’re frightened of, something society may criticize you for, something that may disappoint others but is right for you, and something you never believed you could do to prove to yourself you can. Small start.
- Try painting if you thought you were awful. Talk to the grocery store clerk if you’re timid and afraid of people. Get out of your comfort zone and try as many things as your limiting thinking says you can’t do to start proving it incorrect. This will retrain your brain because you’re conquering your limits.
- Instead of perfection, aim for improvement and effort.
- Focus on the positive efforts you are making to recognize and believe that you are capable, good enough, deserving, significant, useful, and wonderful instead of beating yourself up if you disgrace yourself or make a mistake!
Cultivating Self-Awareness
We may improve our thoughts and actions in every scenario by being self-aware of our emotions and moods at all times. We may even observe ourselves objectively—what we say and do from another’s perspective.
No doubt, this is difficult! But purposeful daily efforts can help us awaken ourselves and build self-awareness. Develop self-awareness with these simple tips.
- Goal-setting and daily effort. Having a clear goal can help you live a meaningful life.
- Conscious Breathing: Most individuals don’t realize the advantages of sitting up straight, relaxing, and slowly breathing—bringing in fresh air, expelling it, and repeating it. Relaxing and energizing with complete focus might help you develop self-awareness.
- Meditating: The day is full of diversions and attempts, making it easy to operate on autopilot or under stress or tiredness. By turning everything off and focusing inward to watch our thoughts and feelings come and go, we may reconnect with ourselves and better manage our attention and energy through meditation.
- Writing down your thoughts and feelings as they happen might help you become more self-aware over time. Journaling may reveal great and terrible habits.
- Have a day to yourself. Breaking from our 9-5 routines and “coming up for some air” is crucial. You may try something new, visit loved ones, or do nothing on this day!
Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People
Today, people are everywhere! Friendly, helpful, and engaging individuals are fun. These people improve your inner self-esteem. Then there are others. They are a challenge. When they text or call, you roll your eyes or twist your gut to avoid them.
I’ve heard so much about surrounding oneself with positive people. Being around positive individuals makes you feel better about yourself and your potential. Positivity boosts productivity and creativity, which will motivate you. Few individuals discuss how you handle negative people in your life.
“When someone shows you how little you mean to them and you keep coming back for more, before you know it, you start to mean less to yourself.”
It helped that my crush had been playing the hot-and-cold game for a week. Instantly, I realized that by replying to texts and communicating with this individual, I was allowing them to abuse me this way. Shouldn’t they? My employer rewarded them despite their misbehavior. My value decreased without my awareness. I had a crush on this individual, so I forgot to expect to be treated equally.
Fuckoff!
I gave myself a serious talk and reminded myself that there are plenty of other crush-worthy people out there who would reciprocate without asking for my attention or using control techniques. So I started thinking about all the romantic, personal, and professional interactions when I’ve let others treat me poorly and made excuses. It depleted my energy and made me work harder at a dynamic that only made me feel worse about myself, intentionally or not.
My nature is to nurture (there’s a psychology joke). My motivation. I like helping, motivating, and inspiring others. Life’s too short for alternatives. It dawned on me that not everyone deserves my support and encouragement, especially if it costs me more than the gift I provide. My task was to look at all of my relationships, from family to Facebook friends, and select out the amazing people in my life and cull out those who don’t offer as much as I do.
The method I used was…
- Assess relationships!
Questions to consider before ending contact: Did the individual do something wrong? Am I overreacting to their words/actions?
Are there any serious issues harming our relationship?
Can we deal with this?
Can I trust them to watch out for me?
Do we respect each other?
Are they enjoying making me feel bad?
What do I feel like when I connect with him/her?
Where would I be without what he/she does for me?
Think about how long you’ve known them and their personal struggles. Ultimately, a pros and cons list will help you decide. It may sound harsh, but too many drawbacks outweigh the positives, or you can’t identify any pros, which is revealing.
2) Trust your instincts!
Know yourself better than anybody else. In times of low mood, you know best what will make you feel better and what’s bothering you. That’s enough if someone destroys your health. Gut instinct will inform you; no list is needed. You feel fatigued when they depart or nauseous when you know they’ll be around. You need not explain why you don’t want to be friends. Even the best reason won’t alter that, just like chemistry won’t make a seemingly ideal person right for you. You deserve peace of mind and a good environment without those who drag you down, actively or unintentionally.
3. Unfriend or unfollow!
Social media truly annoys. Too simple to passive-aggressively say whatever you want and then claim, “Oh no, that wasn’t about you!” I’m crushed you thought that!”
Recall #2. Listen to yourself. Is something targeting you? Maybe it was, but does it affect you? Trust me—real pals won’t. Ever!
You can block and unfriend someone for a cause. Make use of it. You don’t want to see what the person you’re shutting out publishes, even if your concerns aren’t social media-related. Passivity abounds on Facebook. It’s easy to block.
Also? Finished is finished. You took steps to improve your life. No snooping around, asking how they’re doing, etc. You’re too busy to care anymore.
Hide their news feed postings and information if you can’t unfriend them since it’s too much trouble. Minimizing touches keeps you safe.
4. Be open with your closest friends, but expect to lose others!
Self-explanatory, you may discuss it. Good or terrible, ending a relationship is hard. Discuss your struggles with loved ones. Your decision will be supported.
Unexpected unfriending, unfollowing, etc. may occur. Some individuals will disappear (or, as I prefer to think of it, migrate over to create a place for stronger connections). You need to worry—if someone doesn’t respect your right to happiness, you may let them go or cut them out later.
5. No nagging! At first, it may be difficult, but try to separate the person you’re shutting out from why. Honestly, even unpleasant individuals have wonderful qualities, and criticizing them will just send you back into the negative mindset you were trying to escape. Insults, eye-rolling, and gossiping counter that. Nod graciously whenever the person is mentioned. It’s important to prioritize self-care.
Now go make the most of the new year.
Final Words!
Ending limiting beliefs and empowering oneself is a process of self-discovery and progress. Recognizing and comprehending these restricting ideas cultivates self-awareness, and confronting negative self-talk enables dramatic change. This approach requires powerful objectives, self-compassion, and a development mentality. Being with helpful people and learning continuously boosts your success. Remember that empowerment is a lifelong pursuit of personal growth and good change. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how minor, and stay committed to a more meaningful and true life. With determination, persistence, and self-confidence, you can overcome limiting beliefs and build a boundless future.
BLESSINGS!